The essence of love is appreciation. It's important to ask ourselves, "What do I appreciate about myself?" If your answer is "nothing", you are stuck in an illusion of falsehood about your true nature. When we really can't find anything to appreciate about ourselves, or can only find a couple of things to appreciate about ourselves, it is usually because we have received extremely hurtful rejection by others.
Too often, we then turn this rejection into a fear that the rejection will continue, so we assume that there is nothing good about us, and no one will ever accept us. We end up feeling afraid to appreciate anything about ourselves, because our real fear is that no one else will ever appreciate us either.
This is a classic downward spiral into deep depression. If you find yourself here, you first need to identify why do you feel hurt and rejected, who are you afraid will reject you again, and of what or whom are you afraid?
If you are afraid that others will reject you, the first step is to let go of that fear. We have no control over what other people think and feel.
The only thing we can control is what we think, feel, believe, say, and do or don't do. This is the primary concept in mental and spiritual health and its correlate is: our true task in life is to accept responsibility for what we think, feel, believe, speak, and act.
That said, only we can truly appreciate ourselves the way we long to be appreciated, (aside from our Divine Source, who appreciates us much more than we will ever be able to imagine in this lifetime). So, we need to get busy appreciating ourselves. We need to appreciate that we have life, breath, and a body. We need to appreciate that we are able to think and feel. If we cannot do that, then we are seriously depressed, and we need to face ourselves in the mirror and realize that we are causing our own depression, and that only we can get ourselves out of it.
So, then we need to appreciate that we can feel and think, maybe even hear and see! We need to appreciate that we are able to use language and tools and all the basic things of life. When we can do that, we need to progress on to appreciating our abilities: everyone can smile! From there, we can move up to the great variety of abilities with which people are blessed: to sing, to play music, to create art, to problem-solve, to do math, to build things, to use computers, to play video games, to run or jump or swim or ski. And so on.
Only you can really appreciate your abilities, whether they are personal, inter-personal, or professional. Maybe you are a good listener - what an important inter-personal skill that is!
Whatever your abilities, please do not downplay them - they are gifts, and taking them for granted is a negative choice that does not respect the gift of life given to each one of us. As long as you can breathe, you have a purpose for being, and your gifts are part of what you have to offer to the world.
Maybe you believe the world isn't ready for your gifts. But if that's what you believe, give them and appreciate them anyway, and then also believe that someone will be ready for your gifts. You are an amazing creation! You have infinite potential! Why not appreciate yourself? And whatever you give for an answer there, please know that, if you do give an objection, it represents fear and negativity, and only you can choose to move past that fear and negativity. Only you can choose to like and appreciate yourself. If you don't, who will? If you do, many people will!
We always have a choice: either to minimize our gifts, or to do an honest self-inventory, shortcomings as well as abilities. If we are honest, we will find some of both. So, please let that be your starting point, and let go of the fear of appreciating yourself. You just might find yourself doing something that you are able to do, and having fun!
For those of us who haven't spent much or any time in depression, this all sounds basic, but please remember to practice appreciation for yourself and others at every opportunity. May we all learn to celebrate the gifts of who we are!
Love & Light,
Carol
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